Are You Happy Where You Are?

[Newtooz18]

3 hours ago, 365MM said:

Your reply really made my day! I don’t usually ever put much of my personal life on social media, and PHF is very much the exception. It’s heartening for you to relate to my mundaneness lol- spiritual level; totally understand! As catty as it can be sometimes on this board, I’m always glad when I make a new friend here! ❤️ 

I think it’s cool you live in Australia! 🇦🇺 People who “only care about beaches, beer and barbeques” are far too common here too. Though I unabashedly love the beach (living in a desert lol 🌵). I’ve always wanted to visit your country; so much varied natural beauty! Im actually watching “Australia’s Next Top Model” right now (up to either s6 or 7 I think) and constantly enjoying everything about your side of the world! 

As far as non-monogamy here, it’s trickier to judge and maybe I painted a slightly skewed picture of the situation. I think it is more common and accepted among the younger generation. I’m 33 and play straight solo, which statistically happens to put me in a bit of a very large pool for potential picks with partners happening to play with others looking mostly for either more, older, or younger. 🤷‍♂️ Not trying to make this a sob story- just elaborating. Here, my age/culture demographic actually is fairly conservative, and as aligned on everything else progressive/lifestyle my wife is, it was a long, difficult sell to open our relationship. 
 

But now- our relationship is stronger than ever and definitely the best thing in my life! Financially prepared and soon going to be trying for a child!

As far as gay friends, 😂 I’m sure a situation like that could happen, and maybe I’m limiting myself, but the mood has never struck. You know? In a way, I am a bit envious of the openness, directness, and the non-zero-game aspects of gay relationships. I think it can be a lot more civilized and understanding than deviations in heteronormative culture. 
 

Whatever. Seems like everyday there’s another disaster and tomorrow should never be taken as a given. I just try to find peace and enjoyment in what I can without compromising anyone else’s. 

As for you, young man, I have read your posts today - in my drunken state - and I think I love you.

 

I will respond properly tomorrow when the booze wears off and the marijuana kicks in. Or vice versa. 

[365MM]

44 minutes ago, Newtooz18 said:

As for you, young man, I have read your posts today - in my drunken state - and I think I love you.

 

I will respond properly tomorrow when the booze wears off and the marijuana kicks in. Or vice versa. 

 Aww! This has been some thread! I look forward to it! 🥂 

[Cypher]

I wouldn't mind living in Switzerland! A few years back, I glacier scaled the Matterhorn after an 8 month intensive training program and that is probably one of my biggest accomplishments in life. Zermatt is a lovely town and the surrounding cities offer a lot of culture and vibrant scenery!

[Kesha Slays]

I'm going to try to stay away from the political side of this thread (mostly because I don't fully understand everything that's going on other than the basics that everyone knows) and tell y'all about something more 'spiritual' and 'personal' for a lack of better words. 

I was born in Boston, Massachusetts in the United States and I only lived there for about 5 years before me and my family moved halfway cross the state to Western Mass. 

Every now and then I get to visit Boston and see my family for one event or the other and everytime I'm there I feel so nostalgic cause it's my childhood home and although I wasn't there long it truly and completely feels like home to me. I have way more family in Boston than I do here and there's so much more to do and places to go in Boston and overall it's so much fun everytime I'm there. Let's be real though, Boston and it's people, government, etc are far from perfect. For example, in 2019 (or 2020?) some narcissistic, homophobic, racist MASSHOLE decided to throw a "Straight Pride" parade (y'all I seriously can't with this). Also the city has some of the worsy traffic with even more horrible drivers. The drivers here would rather cause a major collison than let you cut in their lanes. 

But, in spite of all that chaos, I'd still love to move back there in a more permenant situation. Idk how or when or if at all but, I hope to move back there one day. Get to live the city life, walk along the beaches, go out to bars, walk my dog, etc, etc. I just know I'd be so happy there. 

[Main Pop Girl]

On 3/12/2022 at 7:54 AM, 365MM said:

Your reply really made my day! I don’t usually ever put much of my personal life on social media, and PHF is very much the exception. It’s heartening for you to relate to my mundaneness lol- spiritual level; totally understand! As catty as it can be sometimes on this board, I’m always glad when I make a new friend here! ❤️ 

I think it’s cool you live in Australia! 🇦🇺 People who “only care about beaches, beer and barbeques” are far too common here too. Though I unabashedly love the beach (living in a desert lol 🌵). I’ve always wanted to visit your country; so much varied natural beauty! Im actually watching “Australia’s Next Top Model” right now (up to either s6 or 7 I think) and constantly enjoying everything about your side of the world! 

As far as non-monogamy here, it’s trickier to judge and maybe I painted a slightly skewed picture of the situation. I think it is more common and accepted among the younger generation. I’m 33 and play straight solo, which statistically happens to put me in a bit of a very large pool for potential picks with partners happening to play with others looking mostly for either more, older, or younger. 🤷‍♂️ Not trying to make this a sob story- just elaborating. Here, my age/culture demographic actually is fairly conservative, and as aligned on everything else progressive/lifestyle my wife is, it was a long, difficult sell to open our relationship. 
 

But now- our relationship is stronger than ever and definitely the best thing in my life! Financially prepared and soon going to be trying for a child!

As far as gay friends, 😂 I’m sure a situation like that could happen, and maybe I’m limiting myself, but the mood has never struck. You know? In a way, I am a bit envious of the openness, directness, and the non-zero-game aspects of gay relationships. I think it can be a lot more civilized and understanding than deviations in heteronormative culture. 
 

Whatever. Seems like everyday there’s another disaster and tomorrow should never be taken as a given. I just try to find peace and enjoyment in what I can without compromising anyone else’s. 

I mean, don't get toooo jealous of gay relationships There's a lot of shallowness, bitchiness and to be completely honest mental illness (understandably) in the gay community which makes dating really difficult imo. I'm 27 and I've never even had an actual boyfriend even though I think I'm like a 8/10 in personality and a 7/10 in looks  But it's great you and your partner are in such a good place! How did the conversation to open your relationship up with your wife go? I feel that would be such a hard thing to even bring up

On 3/12/2022 at 11:32 AM, Newtooz18 said:

Sorry I forgot to respond to this, I never experienced homophobia myself but I was always advised not to be "affectionate" in certain places (I have woolloongong in my head but I may be wrong about that), it is more what I remember reading in the news about how Home & Away tried to do a same sex relationship with a female cop and another character (I think Charlie and Joey??) and people complained so much the story was abandoned after one episode showing them kissing? Obviously Neighbours (R.I.P) has been a lot more progressive with gay, lesbian and trans charachters in recent years but viewership is down and is now being axed after 37 years due to low ratings while completely non homosexual (or scarcely black) Home and Away still has continued success shows the backwards thinking of the population as a whole? I remember loving The Secret Life of Us and remembering they had a gay guy (the bar manager) who was literally just the token gay. 

 

On the other hand talking about racism, I have heard many Aussies (including the people I was sharing a house with refer to black people as "wogs" - even if they didn´t seem like naturally obvious racists - it seemed like just a cultural norm to refer to black people as that as easy as English people refer to Indians as "pakis" (even though they are from India and not Pakistan or the Chinese as "chinkies".  

Omg, I never knew that about Home and Away  It's a shame to hear about Neighbours being cancelled but I feel like they were getting most of their viewership from England and when that went down there just wasn't enough interest locally to keep it going  Still surprising though as I thought they would have had a big enough fanbase internationally to at least move to streaming or something like some of the US soaps have done

The weird thing in Australia is I only hear "wog" used to refer to like second or third generation European people? Like Italian, Greek or other Mediterranean-esque looking people will be referred to as wogs and call themselves that too but I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing or even related to the whole gollywog phenomenon 🤔 Not really sure where that whole trend came from though!

On 3/14/2022 at 3:23 AM, Cypher said:

I wouldn't mind living in Switzerland! A few years back, I glacier scaled the Matterhorn after an 8 month intensive training program and that is probably one of my biggest accomplishments in life. Zermatt is a lovely town and the surrounding cities offer a lot of culture and vibrant scenery!

Dying to go on a ski trip in Switzerland 😭😭😭 It looks incredibly beautiful in the snow, just like something out of a fairytale

On 3/14/2022 at 6:14 AM, Kesha Slays said:

I'm going to try to stay away from the political side of this thread (mostly because I don't fully understand everything that's going on other than the basics that everyone knows) and tell y'all about something more 'spiritual' and 'personal' for a lack of better words. 

I was born in Boston, Massachusetts in the United States and I only lived there for about 5 years before me and my family moved halfway cross the state to Western Mass. 

Every now and then I get to visit Boston and see my family for one event or the other and everytime I'm there I feel so nostalgic cause it's my childhood home and although I wasn't there long it truly and completely feels like home to me. I have way more family in Boston than I do here and there's so much more to do and places to go in Boston and overall it's so much fun everytime I'm there. Let's be real though, Boston and it's people, government, etc are far from perfect. For example, in 2019 (or 2020?) some narcissistic, homophobic, racist MASSHOLE decided to throw a "Straight Pride" parade (y'all I seriously can't with this). Also the city has some of the worsy traffic with even more horrible drivers. The drivers here would rather cause a major collison than let you cut in their lanes. 

But, in spite of all that chaos, I'd still love to move back there in a more permenant situation. Idk how or when or if at all but, I hope to move back there one day. Get to live the city life, walk along the beaches, go out to bars, walk my dog, etc, etc. I just know I'd be so happy there. 

I've always wanted to visit Boston! I feel like there's a lot of culture there even if a lot of it is still that stereotypically masc straight dude vibe. Plus the accent is so much fun  Do you still speak like a Bostonite?  

[Cypher]

8 hours ago, Leaving said:

Dying to go on a ski trip in Switzerland 😭😭😭 It looks incredibly beautiful in the snow, just like something out of a fairytale

Yes!! 10/10 highly recommend!

[Kesha Slays]

12 hours ago, Leaving said:

I've always wanted to visit Boston! I feel like there's a lot of culture there even if a lot of it is still that stereotypically masc straight dude vibe. Plus the accent is so much fun  Do you still speak like a Bostonite?

It's definitely filled with history and culture but, yeah no I agree it def gives off masc straight guy vibes. Lmao I actually get that a lot when I bring up the fact that I was born in Boston but, unfortunately no, I don't have an accent. I wish I did tho, I find it so funny. 

[365MM]

On 3/18/2022 at 5:42 AM, Leaving said:

I mean, don't get toooo jealous of gay relationships There's a lot of shallowness, bitchiness and to be completely honest mental illness (understandably) in the gay community which makes dating really difficult imo. I'm 27 and I've never even had an actual boyfriend even though I think I'm like a 8/10 in personality and a 7/10 in looks  But it's great you and your partner are in such a good place! How did the conversation to open your relationship up with your wife go? I feel that would be such a hard thing to even bring up 😭

Yeah, maybe I said that abt gay relationships a bit flippantly. Those do sound like particularly difficult complications to add in the mix. Hang in there- I’m sure the right guy for you will come along sooner than you know! Is there a big dating pool in your area? Sometimes is too easy to discount seemingly incomparable potentials ‘just because’ of the arbitrary pre-conditions we set. 🤷‍♂️ 
 

As far as the conversation about opening my relationship? Not going to lie; it was an unresolved issue that came up several times over the years before an agreement. My wife is a few years older than I am, and already had her fun so to speak. She was only my 2nd real relationship, and it just happened to snap into a permanent thing. (Even though considering we work together) we haven’t spent a day apart in 13 years. 😵 A stable life together is great, but physically and spiritually, I felt unfulfilled. 
 

It was very hard to articulate, let alone express without hurting feelings. Fortunately we were finally able to come to an agreement.  
 

I think everything works out better when we can be honest and true with ourselves and each other. So, generally and back to the topic subject- pretty happy lol! And I sincerely hope everyone else can be too- whatever that means to each! ❤️ 

[Kipper]

Hey yall, this is an extremely basic question, but what motivates you to keep going everyday?

My equally-generic reason for asking is that I'm struggling to find my own answer, and really need some advice from someone who knows how that feels. The weight of the world is crushing me and I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you to this forum for always being a reliable safe space, and sending love to all the wonderful people who help make it that way 

[Make me chic]

12 minutes ago, Kipper said:

Hey yall, this is an extremely basic question, but what motivates you to keep going everyday?

My equally-generic reason for asking is that I'm struggling to find my own answer, and really need some advice from someone who knows how that feels. The weight of the world is crushing me and I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you to this forum for always being a reliable safe space, and sending love to all the wonderful people who help make it that way 

I love to spend my time with my fiancé and our beautiful dog. I enjoy the beauty of the life and everything it has to offer : i like watching trees and nature, smelling flowers, walking in the street and do shopping and eat in restaurants, laughing and meeting some cool other persons. I don't really pay attention to what happen in the news, it's too depressing. I am a very curious girl, i like to cook and try new receipts, eating is a real pleasure. I like to read, psychology, ecology, and of course music and movies.

Life is so beautiful, if you are down, maybe you need some help ?

 

"what motivates you to keep going everyday?"
the man i love, my dog, family, taking care of myself, not asking myself too much questions but taking life as it comes.
 

Maybe you just need a boyfriend/girlfriend, a pet and build together something real and just enjoying life.

[Kesha Slays]

2 hours ago, Kipper said:

Hey yall, this is an extremely basic question, but what motivates you to keep going everyday?

My equally-generic reason for asking is that I'm struggling to find my own answer, and really need some advice from someone who knows how that feels. The weight of the world is crushing me and I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you to this forum for always being a reliable safe space, and sending love to all the wonderful people who help make it that way 

Idk if this technically answers your question, but I find that just knowing that there are other people out there in the world who are also going through something right now, so comforting. To know that you're not alone in feeling a certain way. Even if you can't describe how or what is you're experiencing, somebody out there, has or is also going through it. I find comfort in knowing I'm not alone. I mean, I don't really know how to overcome whatever funk I'm in, but to just know that I'm not the only human being who's in this space mentally, is a nice feeling. I sound like I'm repeating myself lmao I'm sorry. 

My advice to you, is to take it one day at a time. Everyday is a clean slate. Don't stress over the little things. Don't worry about things that are out of your control. Make finding your peace and happiness your priority. I hope this helps! ✌️❤️

[Kipper]

13 hours ago, Make me chic said:

Maybe you just need a boyfriend/girlfriend, a pet and build together something real and just enjoying life.

Easier said than done Though lately I have been seriously considering getting a cat. Never had one but suddenly have an utter fascination with them... I don't how it started and it's really bizarre. Anyway, thank you very, very much for taking the time to reply Strangely I try my best to avoid the news as much as I reasonably can, but lately I've been having terrible anxiety over the state of the world and where it's headed, maybe even worse so when it's just me and my thoughts. I try to focus on the positive but the thought of what life will look like even 10 years from now fills me with a consuming dread and powerlessness. Yet I know I'm not helping anything by thinking so bleakly - I'm doing the best I can not to. At minimum, I plan to continue giving my best effort to find the beauty in life and doing what I can to contribute to it.

Thanks again for your advice, your perspective is refreshing. HUGE congrats on your engagement btw!!!

11 hours ago, Kesha Slays said:

My advice to you, is to take it one day at a time. Everyday is a clean slate.

It's funny, this is almost verbatim my mom's catchphrase whenever I ask her the same thing. That's when you know you've got some damn solid advice!

On the other hand, I'm confident your point about knowing you're not alone is very, very similar to what I probably would have come up with, if I had absolutely no choice but to share advice. I know exactly what you mean!!! It's so weird because on paper it's not at all a positive thing, it's kind of like saying "well, there's not just your little bit of negativity. There's a whole heaping fuckton of it all over the place, more than you could even comprehend 😊 " Well okay that wasn't terribly inspiring, that just means more negativity. But paradoxically, it's also kind of humbling because somehow, your own individual problems suddenly feel less specific to you, almost like... the world doesn't have a vengeance against you, it's just equally, apathetically random towards everyone. (No clue if any of my babbling was coherent either... the idea we're trying to verbalize hardly makes sense anyways!)

Wishing you love and luck on your own "funk", whatever it is indeed. Mental health is so abstract, sometimes you don't even know how to describe or even identify why you feel like something's wrong. I'm grateful for how rapidly our understanding of it has grown in recent times, and how much it continues to. It's a good sign, however small in the grand scheme of things, for the future!

[Main Pop Girl]

On 3/22/2023 at 1:32 PM, Kipper said:

Hey yall, this is an extremely basic question, but what motivates you to keep going everyday?

My equally-generic reason for asking is that I'm struggling to find my own answer, and really need some advice from someone who knows how that feels. The weight of the world is crushing me and I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you to this forum for always being a reliable safe space, and sending love to all the wonderful people who help make it that way 

I wanted to add a new reaction people can use on PHF in response to your post. Now you can use the love heart reaction to show you care for someone or to give an extra thank you

In answer to your question, find a hobby that makes you happy! Maybe it's writing, painting, singing, guitar, improv or web design. Try everything you're interested in and see what you like best! Having something that makes you happy that you can also set goals in to work towards is a great way to keep you moving forward through life. I always find that travelling really helps me when I'm feeling low in life, so that could be another good idea if you're able to.

Sending lots of love your way  

[Kipper]

4 hours ago, Leaving said:

I wanted to add a new reaction people can use on PHF in response to your post. Now you can use the love heart reaction to show you care for someone or to give an extra thank you

In answer to your question, find a hobby that makes you happy! Maybe it's writing, painting, singing, guitar, improv or web design. Try everything you're interested in and see what you like best! Having something that makes you happy that you can also set goals in to work towards is a great way to keep you moving forward through life. I always find that travelling really helps me when I'm feeling low in life, so that could be another good idea if you're able to.

Sending lots of love your way  

Not my off-the-cuff vent post impacting PHF history Just kidding, the fact that you went through the effort of making a whole new emote means the whole world to me! I will make sure to send it to everyone else who goes out of their way just to be kind - aka, the absolute best of the #PHFam

Maybe it is time to find something new... that web design recommendation perked my ears up. I used to be really into Wikipedia editing and picked up some tidbits of HTML, and I always wanted to try my hand at learning the whole language. I should set some time aside and give that a go! Thank you so much for your reply, and more importantly for all you do for the forum! We don't appreciate it enough.

[napoleon]

I'm feeling pretty happy right now in my country (Brazil). I know life is hard here for a lot of LGBTQ people, especially trans women, and that I'm incredibly privileged to be a white cis man, who also comes from a relatively wealthy family. My life has always been easy, but since 2016 I've been feeling depressed and anxious about politics and how it affects life for other people. It all changed with last year's presidential election. I know the conservative threat will always exist, and that they might eventually return to power, but right now it's a relief to have Lula as our president again. I feel like I can enjoy my life and be happy knowing that we're on the path for progress again. We have a lot of problems in our country that are unlikely to be solved in my lifetime but overall I really like living in Brazil, I wouldn't move anywhere else, and recently I found out that I also enjoy my hometown and the simple life here. I tried living in the big city, going out at night, dreaming of getting famous, but that's an overrated lifestyle. I recently learned to finally love myself and enjoy the company of my family and childhood friends.