SkullPop Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 So, I'm been active more as a late which makes me happy but I wanted to fill you guys in on what I've been doing in my absences & what I'm doing now. I've been meaning to do this for awhile noe bit with school now starting & my busy summer it's been a pain. So basically, to really start it off when I lost my virginity in the summer of 2016, I rushed myself. It wasn't very smart & it affected me negatively I felt like I had no worth because of it & was cutting class. I continued to have sex, then in November I was raped. It happened near my school & he picked me up from there. So, whenever I tried to attend I'd have panic attacks & almost start crying so I failed my sophomore year. Flash forward to June I've now been in therapy since December & I was nervous to go back to school, even though it was a new school I was worried. It's a continuation school so, I'd earn back all of my missed credits as well as the current ones I need. So I started summer school & I was so happy to go to class, I missed it so much! I was late 3 times only! With 0 absences after having not gone to class since December! After summer school was done, 6 weeks, I went to volunteer at a local kindergarten 'cause I really love to help others! & that was for 3 amazing weeks! I skipped January- July's social life cause it was an overall mess. I almost commuted once or twice but I'm overall, fine now. & I'm really proud of myself! Because I can confidently say that overall I'm happy now! Sometimes I'll have a few bad days or a bad week! But I'm really just all smiles! I haven't felt this way since I was a child & I'm just really grateful. Now, I'm still attending my new school & I need to work a bit harder but I know I will starting this next week. Plus, I got student council! So, I'm really excited to do that! Love ya guys! Edit: Oh & I forgot to say but I gave up sex! After I had the best sex ever (+ a few more flings after) I realized I hate hookups. Plus, I want to wait for a guy who's special to me until I start having sex again. Plus, I almost became addicted to sex. Instead of doing drugs or alcohol I'd turn to sex to fill the void & sex even almost led me to meth, coke, & heroin. I became obsessed with the drugs during my grindr days & tried to sell myself so I could use them & eventually OD on them! Booze I also almost sold myself for. I became so attached to the sex that I paid to give head cause I was just looking to get HIV. J knew that if I couldn't get the drugs to kill me, the HIV would & that's what I was hoping for. Other than that, I haven't had sex since June. I made a really good friend though from Grindr so I'm glad about that & since this has happened I've had sex with only 14 men in my life. It's cool in my mind how of I had sex with just one more guy I'd be 15 & I would have already slept with 15 guys. I turn 16 in a few weeks! 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fetish Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 Congrats on student council And the sex thing is good! I feel like sex is 100% better with people that mean something to you, and of course having random hookups/one night stands can lead to STDS and all sorts of problems. Its good to hear you got over the drugs, congrats on the recovery and I hope everything goes well at school 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ifuseekme Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 im so happy to hear that things are getting better 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkullPop Posted August 19, 2017 Author Share Posted August 19, 2017 6 hours ago, ifuseekme said: im so happy to hear that things are getting better 6 hours ago, Fetish said: Congrats on student council And the sex thing is good! I feel like sex is 100% better with people that mean something to you, and of course having random hookups/one night stands can lead to STDS and all sorts of problems. Its good to hear you got over the drugs, congrats on the recovery and I hope everything goes well at school Thank you guys! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ari Posted August 19, 2017 Share Posted August 19, 2017 (edited) Edited October 23 by Ari 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Main Pop Girl Posted August 20, 2017 Share Posted August 20, 2017 My reaction after reading the first paragraph: I'm seriously so sorry to hear that babe...That sounds absolutely horrible. No one should have to go through that and it's horrible that it might have ruined the way you think about sex. But I'm so proud of you for going to therapy and for overcoming the bullshit that life threw at you. Keep up the amazing work my darling! My reaction after reading the edit: WHAT!? I totally get what you're talking about when you discuss a sex addiction. Sex really does release endorphins and it can lead to so much self-confidence so I get why you'd say that. But selling yourself for drugs? PAYING TO HAVE SEX JUST SO YOU CAN GET HIV? Oh girl... You are really next level! It sounds like you've had some super self-destructive behaviour. I'm so glad you're over it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkullPop Posted August 21, 2017 Author Share Posted August 21, 2017 9 hours ago, Countess said: My reaction after reading the first paragraph: I'm seriously so sorry to hear that babe...That sounds absolutely horrible. No one should have to go through that and it's horrible that it might have ruined the way you think about sex. But I'm so proud of you for going to therapy and for overcoming the bullshit that life threw at you. Keep up the amazing work my darling! My reaction after reading the edit: WHAT!? I totally get what you're talking about when you discuss a sex addiction. Sex really does release endorphins and it can lead to so much self-confidence so I get why you'd say that. But selling yourself for drugs? PAYING TO HAVE SEX JUST SO YOU CAN GET HIV? Oh girl... You are really next level! It sounds like you've had some super self-destructive behaviour. I'm so glad you're over it. LMAO the gifs made me laugh! Though thank you very much darling! It means a lot. I'm glad I'm over it too. It's actually quite easy to give up sex! You just gotta be in the right headspace for it. Plus you have to have the will & motivation. On 8/19/2017 at 11:34 AM, dangerousmixers said: I'm so glad things are getting better and i hope they continue to do so Thank you! I'm glad too! So far, It's going & it's looking very well ahead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Main Pop Girl Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 3 hours ago, SkullPop said: LMAO the gifs made me laugh! Though thank you very much darling! It means a lot. I'm glad I'm over it too. It's actually quite easy to give up sex! You just gotta be in the right headspace for it. Plus you have to have the will & motivation. Thank you! I'm glad too! So far, It's going & it's looking very well ahead! Tbh, I've given it up for a few months before but that's mostly just because I'm too lazy to get out of bed more than anything else. But if that makes you happy then I hope you keep it up! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkullPop Posted August 21, 2017 Author Share Posted August 21, 2017 13 minutes ago, Countess said: Tbh, I've given it up for a few months before but that's mostly just because I'm too lazy to get out of bed more than anything else. But if that makes you happy then I hope you keep it up! I probably will keep it up. Thank you boo! I wish you energy(only if you want energy of course)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Main Pop Girl Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 On 8/21/2017 at 4:27 PM, SkullPop said: I probably will keep it up. Thank you boo! I wish you energy(only if you want energy of course)! I definitely do! Thank you for the well wishes, I've been oversleeping way too much this week but I'm hoping it will pass! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkullPop Posted August 27, 2017 Author Share Posted August 27, 2017 5 hours ago, Countess said: I definitely do! Thank you for the well wishes, I've been oversleeping way too much this week but I'm hoping it will pass! I'm sure it will pass! I encourage you to perhaps, smile more & to go for a few runs. I find it really helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Main Pop Girl Posted August 27, 2017 Share Posted August 27, 2017 3 hours ago, SkullPop said: I'm sure it will pass! I encourage you to perhaps, smile more & to go for a few runs. I find it really helps! I'm sure it will That's a good idea! I'm not sad or anything, just stressed and tired and I find it difficult to get out of bed and face the world sometimes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkullPop Posted August 27, 2017 Author Share Posted August 27, 2017 18 hours ago, Countess said: I'm sure it will That's a good idea! I'm not sad or anything, just stressed and tired and I find it difficult to get out of bed and face the world sometimes. I get you, I'm sure you already listen to a lot of music but maybe taking on a hobby might help! Try, gardening! I'm sure you'll love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rscky Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 omg angel bby awee ily, wish u the best boo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkullPop Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 14 hours ago, rscky said: omg angel bby awee ily, wish u the best boo I love you too boo! Hope you're doing amazing btw love! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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