Struggles With Depression

[Deactivate]

A lot of us struggle with depression but not many people talk about it. I'm here to share my story; I've suffered from depression for about 7-8 years and I've never seaked treatment for it, I've fought through every dark spell I've had, even when I've been at my lowest. Lately, I've felt myself slipping back into a very dark place that I've been in several times before. My boyfriend leaves for university in 3 weeks and it's the first time we've ever been apart for so long. I'm very insecure and always feel like people won't want me. My dark times do include self harm and self-distruction, I sit in my bedroom all day everyday doing nothing and just spiralling into a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. It's difficult to keep fighting when you feel like you're doing it alone and you don't have anybody to express these feelings to. My boyfriend knows about my depression, however, he's never witnessed how bad it can get. He says he'll be there for me but whilst I believe him, I also can't help but think, how can he be? He'll be living in a different county with over 100 miles between us and if he doesn't understand how bad it can get, how can he help?

so there's my story

If you're suffering from depression, open up and share your story. If you don't want to post it on here publicly, you are more than welcome to inbox me. You're not alone, you have me.

love, kisses and best wishes xx

[goldtranzam]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through  If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here!  

[Main Pop Girl]

Thanks for sharing with us.  I've never been diagnosed with any kind of mental illness either but I do get depressed sometimes as I think we all do. Let us know if you're going through a tough time, there's a lot of people here who care.

[IntoYouu]

I'm sorry to hear that boo, but know that you're not alone and people want you. I want you and so does everyone else here. I hope that things with your boyfriend will still be as good as they are when he leaves. If you will ever need a shoulder or just a talk, I'm here

[IntoYouu]

And about my depression. I never looked for any help because I don't like when others help me. I always try to solve problems by myself if possible. It all began in 2010. I got called a fag and got body shamed many times. It made me really insecure and I just closed myself up. I'm better now, but I have my dark moments. Today's my 20th birthday and yesterday I had a small breakdown crying about my life that I haven't accomplished and that I'm a disgrace etc. The truth is that I'm too insecure to accomplish anything because most of the time I'm too worried about what people will say about me.

[Tweener]

22 minutes ago, IntoYouu said:

And about my depression. I never looked for any help because I don't like when others help me. I always try to solve problems by myself if possible. It all began in 2010. I got called a fag and got body shamed many times. It made me really insecure and I just closed myself up. I'm better now, but I have my dark moments. Today's my 20th birthday and yesterday I had a small breakdown crying about my life that I haven't accomplished and that I'm a disgrace etc. The truth is that I'm too insecure to accomplish anything because most of the time I'm too worried about what people will say about me.

 

You? Body shamed?!!? You look fine af!  

Don''t worry boo. Every problem is to overcome.

If you feel like shit, just shake it off. Don't let your problems get to you.

Just...

[IntoYouu]

19 minutes ago, Tweener said:

You? Body shamed?!!? You look fine af!  

Don''t worry boo. Every problem is to overcome.

If you feel like shit, just shake it off. Don't let your problems get to you.

Just...

Put your hawk in the sky move side to side (by Ariana Grande), jump to the left, stick it, glide. Hahaha I still remember it

And I am overcoming it = gym

[Speakerphone]

Without telling too much, I suffered from depression since I was 7, when my mom passed away. And like you @Amelia Lily @IntoYouu, I didn't look for help. I had friends that I couldn't see anymore because I couldn't even handle the fact to see a 'perfect family' (2 parents, what an awful thing to see ). At school, it was awful, because this made me grow faster than the other kids and I didn't feel normal. And it got worse in high school, because, well, I was gay  ! I got it all too, like you @IntoYouu I was body shamed, called a fag and so on, and of course, you can't show them that it is hurting so you pretend you don't hear anything. And one day I couldn't take it anymore so I thought it would be easier to die. And it didn't go as planned. It's after that, at 18 that I went to see a psy !

Spoiler

And it was the best decision I ever made. It really helped me (that, and the gym ), I finally found closure with my mother's passing and like, every issues I had. I still have ups & downs, but it doesn't happen a lot. So, it might be hard to talk to someone you don't know, but I assure you, when you'll find a great psy/therapist, it will really help you.

I really hope for you, @Amelia Lily and @IntoYouu that it will get better! And if you need to talk to someone, I'm here too! You don't have to face that alone 

[IntoYouu]

3 hours ago, Speakerphone said:

Without telling too much, I suffered from depression since I was 7, when my mom passed away. And like you @Amelia Lily @IntoYouu, I didn't look for help. I had friends that I couldn't see anymore because I couldn't even handle the fact to see a 'perfect family' (2 parents, what an awful thing to see ). At school, it was awful, because this made me grow faster than the other kids and I didn't feel normal. And it got worse in high school, because, well, I was gay  ! I got it all too, like you @IntoYouu I was body shamed, called a fag and so on, and of course, you can't show them that it is hurting so you pretend you don't hear anything. And one day I couldn't take it anymore so I thought it would be easier to die. And it didn't go as planned. It's after that, at 18 that I went to see a psy !

  Reveal hidden contents

And it was the best decision I ever made. It really helped me (that, and the gym ), I finally found closure with my mother's passing and like, every issues I had. I still have ups & downs, but it doesn't happen a lot. So, it might be hard to talk to someone you don't know, but I assure you, when you'll find a great psy/therapist, it will really help you.

I really hope for you, @Amelia Lily and @IntoYouu that it will get better! And if you need to talk to someone, I'm here too! You don't have to face that alone 

Your experience pretty much matches all that I experienced, but idk why I don't feel safe going to a psychologist. It's weird.

[Speakerphone]

27 minutes ago, IntoYouu said:

Your experience pretty much matches all that I experienced, but idk why I don't feel safe going to a psychologist. It's weird.

I get it, I didn't feel safe there for at least three or four months, I had multiple sessions where I didn't even talk. You should try tho, try to overpass the apprehension, I know it's easy to say but in the long run, you'll be glad you did it. 

[IntoYouu]

25 minutes ago, Speakerphone said:

I get it, I didn't feel safe there for at least three or four months, I had multiple sessions where I didn't even talk. You should try tho, try to overpass the apprehension, I know it's easy to say but in the long run, you'll be glad you did it. 

I may try. Thanks for helping me

[Main Pop Girl]

Why is everyone here overcoming their depression by going to the gym?  Imma need y'all to bully me some more so I can get on that treadmill please.

[Speakerphone]

26 minutes ago, Countess said:

Why is everyone here overcoming their depression by going to the gym?  Imma need y'all to bully me some more so I can get on that treadmill please.

You have to be bullied to get on there? 

All you need is motivation and most of all, want to do it ! There's some pretty interesting things to see in the locker room, that's enough motivation for me tbh haha ! 

[Deactivate]

40 minutes ago, Countess said:

Why is everyone here overcoming their depression by going to the gym?  Imma need y'all to bully me some more so I can get on that treadmill please.

I don't go to the gym... I just eat

[Main Pop Girl]

On 8/16/2016 at 5:06 AM, Speakerphone said:

You have to be bullied to get on there? 

All you need is motivation and most of all, want to do it ! There's some pretty interesting things to see in the locker room, that's enough motivation for me tbh haha ! 

Yes!  Although I'd never looked at the locker room as an incentive to work out. Normally I'm so nervous in there I just run in and hide and get out ASAP.  

On 8/16/2016 at 5:16 AM, Amelia Lily said:

I don't go to the gym... I just eat

I feel you sis...I'm more of a depression eater than I am a depression worker.