Ten Hours of Street Harassment as a Woman in New York

[Main Pop Girl]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A#ws

So this video has been making the rounds lately and a lot of people have been commenting about how shocking and horrifying it is. But am I the only one who thinks the whole thing's a little overblown?

First of all, I have no idea why they edited down all the footage to make it only two minutes long if they really recorded a full ten hours of stuff. If there was really over 100 instances of sexual harassment like they claimed then I don't see why they didn't show them all, or why they showed such boring ones. It kind of ruins the effect.

I'm also not sure I'd classify a lot of what's in this video as harassment. For one thing, the girl never actually talks to express her discomfort or ask the guys to stop, so I'm not really sure how she can be claiming harassment given that. I also think that some of the guys were just being nice, like the one's asking her how she was going or if she was having a good day. To be honest, if someone asked me that on the street (as they occasionally do) I would just be flattered and it would probably make my day. It also seems pretty clear that some of the guys, like the one who followed her for five minutes, have mental illness issues so I don't really think that they can be seen as examples of the typical sexual harasser.

Either way it's interesting that the video is so popular. What do you guys think of it?

[trayertrash]

It's not that he just said have a good day, it's the fact that he walked right next to her for several minutes. The other guys were only being nice to try to get a conversation going or straight up looked at her like a piece of meat. When a complete stranger says anything to you, you're clinched with the fear of Is this going to escalate? Is he going to follow me? Is he going to be physical? Is he going to try to hurt me? It might seem like women are paranoid, but you can't help but to feel fearful of the unknown, especially when rape is so common. It's not a woman's duty to speak when spoken to. It's not her duty to say thanks for an unwanted comment. Several of the people in the video made multiple comments even after she ignored them. If she didn't respond the first time, it was unwanted. Simple as that. I get that some of the guys probably thought they were just being nice or whatever, but it just comes off as creepy no matter who you are or what you say.

[Main Pop Girl]

It's not that he just said have a good day, it's the fact that he walked right next to her for several minutes. The other guys were only being nice to try to get a conversation going or straight up looked at her like a piece of meat. When a complete stranger says anything to you, you're clinched with the fear of Is this going to escalate? Is he going to follow me? Is he going to be physical? Is he going to try to hurt me? It might seem like women are paranoid, but you can't help but to feel fearful of the unknown, especially when rape is so common. It's not a woman's duty to speak when spoken to. It's not her duty to say thanks for an unwanted comment. Several of the people in the video made multiple comments even after she ignored them. If she didn't respond the first time, it was unwanted. Simple as that. I get that some of the guys probably thought they were just being nice or whatever, but it just comes off as creepy no matter who you are or what you say.

Ooh, I'm not justifying that guy walking next to her for five minutes at all. That was creepy as hell and just plain weird tbh. That's why I was saying I think that guy has some kind of mental illness or something, because even in your average misogynist that's not normal behaviour. Same with the guys who kept repeating themselves after she was clearly ignoring them. I was more talking about guys like the one who she walked past who was just sitting down and told her once to "have a good day". I think calling that harassment is a huge stress tbh.

But I'm not sure why you're saying that guys who are "trying to get a conversation going" are somehow evil for that. I also never brought up any ideas of a woman's "duty" so I'm not quite sure why that's relevant. It has nothing to do with "duty" whatsoever and more with just being a polite and approachable human being. It's not my "duty" to talk to anyone who sits next to me in class and tries to make conversation, I just do it because I'm not a douche and I like meeting people. Similarly, it wasn't my "duty" to say thank you when I got a present I didn't like for my birthday, it's just something that people do to be polite. I also don't really think it's necessary to be worried about a stranger on a busy street raping you considering that the majority of rapes occur from people that you know. Anyone who lives in constant fear of rape like that I think needs to reevaluate some of their own issues before blaming other people for making them uncomfortable.

I think it also has a lot what kind of a neighbourhood you live in tbh. I have a friend who comes from a suburb near London and she says that when she walks around there, everyone just feels like they're friends with everyone else so people always chat to each other on the street, guys and girls. On the other hand, in the city I live in that's a little more uncommon so I'd probably be a bit more weirded out about it. New York seems like the kind of place where everyone's quite friendly so I don't think it's as much of an issue.

[trayertrash]

Ooh, I'm not justifying that guy walking next to her for five minutes at all. That was creepy as hell and just plain weird tbh. That's why I was saying I think that guy has some kind of mental illness or something, because even in your average misogynist that's not normal behaviour. Same with the guys who kept repeating themselves after she was clearly ignoring them. I was more talking about guys like the one who she walked past who was just sitting down and told her once to "have a good day". I think calling that harassment is a huge stress tbh.

But I'm not sure why you're saying that guys who are "trying to get a conversation going" are somehow evil for that. I also never brought up any ideas of a woman's "duty" so I'm not quite sure why that's relevant. It has nothing to do with "duty" whatsoever and more with just being a polite and approachable human being. It's not my "duty" to talk to anyone who sits next to me in class and tries to make conversation, I just do it because I'm not a douche and I like meeting people. Similarly, it wasn't my "duty" to say thank you when I got a present I didn't like for my birthday, it's just something that people do to be polite. I also don't really think it's necessary to be worried about a stranger on a busy street raping you considering that the majority of rapes occur from people that you know. Anyone who lives in constant fear of rape like that I think needs to reevaluate some of their own issues before blaming other people for making them uncomfortable.

I think it also has a lot what kind of a neighbourhood you live in tbh. I have a friend who comes from a suburb near London and she says that when she walks around there, everyone just feels like they're friends with everyone else so people always chat to each other on the street, guys and girls. On the other hand, in the city I live in that's a little more uncommon so I'd probably be a bit more weirded out about it. New York seems like the kind of place where everyone's quite friendly so I don't think it's as much of an issue.

I wasn't implying you thought it was a woman's duty to respond, but I feel like that's how a lot of these guys think, particularly the ones who kept nagging her. I've read a lot of comments saying shit like "why didn't the bitch just say hi" or "she could've just been nice and said something" like no, just no, it's not something she has to do nor is it something that should be expected. It's one thing to have someone you know say hi to you or to be from a safer area, but the fact is that (approx.) 78 rapes happen per hour, having a fear of any form of contact from a stranger doesn't seem crazy too me. If she doesn't want to respond, that's her right. It shouldn't be seen as rude imo.

[Main Pop Girl]

I wasn't implying you thought it was a woman's duty to respond, but I feel like that's how a lot of these guys think, particularly the ones who kept nagging her. I've read a lot of comments saying shit like "why didn't the bitch just say hi" or "she could've just been nice and said something" like no, just no, it's not something she has to do nor is it something that should be expected. It's one thing to have someone you know say hi to you or to be from a safer area, but the fact is that (approx.) 78 rapes happen per hour, having a fear of any form of contact from a stranger doesn't seem crazy too me. If she doesn't want to respond, that's her right. It shouldn't be seen as rude imo.

I mean, it obviously depends on the kind of guy who's saying hi to you. If it's that guy who was walking next to her for five minutes, she clearly doesn't have to say a single word to him and if I was her I would have been running as fast as I can tbh. But for some of those guys who were just being nice (not the ones who were wolf-whistling her cos they were being douchey) I don't think it would have killed her to just smile at them as she passed by. If she's not comfortable with it (which is fair enough) then she obviously doesn't have to stop and talk about the weather. And idk, I think that fearing something that statistically is never gonna happen to you is a little over-dramatic tbh. Obviously it's different if you've already had prior experiences with rape or something, as many people have, but I think that media sensationalism is really making people worry about this a lot when most people really don't need to. Although 78 rapes happen per hour, there's also 60 murders that happen every hour, but for some reason people don't seem that worried about that anymore.

[trayertrash]

I mean, it obviously depends on the kind of guy who's saying hi to you. If it's that guy who was walking next to her for five minutes, she clearly doesn't have to say a single word to him and if I was her I would have been running as fast as I can tbh. But for some of those guys who were just being nice (not the ones who were wolf-whistling her cos they were being douchey) I don't think it would have killed her to just smile at them as she passed by. If she's not comfortable with it (which is fair enough) then she obviously doesn't have to stop and talk about the weather. And idk, I think that fearing something that statistically is never gonna happen to you is a little over-dramatic tbh. Obviously it's different if you've already had prior experiences with rape or something, as many people have, but I think that media sensationalism is really making people worry about this a lot when most people really don't need to. Although 78 rapes happen per hour, there's also 60 murders that happen every hour, but for some reason people don't seem that worried about that anymore.

I think it's just one of those things that women in general fear. It's drilled in our heads that if something does happen to us it's our fault - whether it's because we drank too much or showed off too much skin or were too nice or not nice enough or we weren't cautious enough- I think after the victim blaming is bashed into your head you begin to develop this whole concept of  'oh hey, if something does happen to me it's my fault so let me ignore everyone so nothing happens' I agree with you on murder though, it's so strange that no one even considers that a risk. Tbh, the only time people around here care about it is if they're in a "bad part of town" (aka more than 2 black people within a mile) and think they're going to be robbed &/or killed. Btw, I am grateful we can discuss this in a respectful manor without either of us being rude about opposing opinions.

[Main Pop Girl]

I think it's just one of those things that women in general fear. It's drilled in our heads that if something does happen to us it's our fault - whether it's because we drank too much or showed off too much skin or were too nice or not nice enough or we weren't cautious enough- I think after the victim blaming is bashed into your head you begin to develop this whole concept of  'oh hey, if something does happen to me it's my fault so let me ignore everyone so nothing happens' I agree with you on murder though, it's so strange that no one even considers that a risk. Tbh, the only time people around here care about it is if they're in a "bad part of town" (aka more than 2 black people within a mile) and think they're going to be robbed &/or killed. Btw, I am grateful we can discuss this in a respectful manor without either of us being rude about opposing opinions.

I was just gonna exactly the same thing to you! I love that we're able to have such a respectful conversation without resorting to namecalling or condescension like some petty Tumblr bitches. But I guess I do get what you mean about blaming the victim, to an extent. I think it's probably a bit of a generational thing, because for people like me who've grown up with increased awareness around the whole issue I honestly feel like I hear more dialogue about how bad it is to blame the victim than actual victim blaming itself. But really at the end of the day just ignoring people isn't the main issue to me, it's more just the crazy online demonization of some of these men who I don't really feel deserve it which I find annoying. But yeah, the whole murder thing is so weird! Even in like TV shows and stuff, it's always the rape scenes which are designed to be super shocking and disgusting, whereas murder scenes just tend to be really clinical and boring. I just find it a weird dichotomy, because as someone who's dealt with sexual harassment and abuse myself in the past I've never really found it to be such an earth-shattering situation as some people like to make out.

[trayertrash]

I was just gonna exactly the same thing to you! I love that we're able to have such a respectful conversation without resorting to namecalling or condescension like some petty Tumblr bitches. But I guess I do get what you mean about blaming the victim, to an extent. I think it's probably a bit of a generational thing, because for people like me who've grown up with increased awareness around the whole issue I honestly feel like I hear more dialogue about how bad it is to blame the victim than actual victim blaming itself. But really at the end of the day just ignoring people isn't the main issue to me, it's more just the crazy online demonization of some of these men who I don't really feel deserve it which I find annoying. But yeah, the whole murder thing is so weird! Even in like TV shows and stuff, it's always the rape scenes which are designed to be super shocking and disgusting, whereas murder scenes just tend to be really clinical and boring. I just find it a weird dichotomy, because as someone who's dealt with sexual harassment and abuse myself in the past I've never really found it to be such an earth-shattering situation as some people like to make out.

I think the victim blamming thing is talked about a lot online, but I still hear people blaming them irl. Like there's a girl named Hannah Graham that was missing after a night if drinking, some guy killed her and they found her body a few days ago. The only thing I've really heard people say about it is shit like "well she shouldn't have been out in the middle of the night drunk and alone" Do people not realize that women should be allowed to walk anywhere without being raped? I will never understand the lack of rapist blaming in America.

Omg right? On Walking Dead there's zombies coming around ripping people's faces off and shit - no big deal, but last night one of the characters was in a situation where she could've been raped & everyone lost their fucking mind over it. I think how you view your experience depends on your mindset and the situation itself. Some people are tougher/weaker than others. I dealt with a lot of physical and sexual abuse when I was a kid, but I guess I was just immune to it by the time I realized how fucked up things were. But when I was abused by an ex it destroyed me. It's something that still effects me with anxiety problems and nightmares.

[Main Pop Girl]

I think the victim blamming thing is talked about a lot online, but I still hear people blaming them irl. Like there's a girl named Hannah Graham that was missing after a night if drinking, some guy killed her and they found her body a few days ago. The only thing I've really heard people say about it is shit like "well she shouldn't have been out in the middle of the night drunk and alone" Do people not realize that women should be allowed to walk anywhere without being raped? I will never understand the lack of rapist blaming in America.

Omg right? On Walking Dead there's zombies coming around ripping people's faces off and shit - no big deal, but last night one of the characters was in a situation where she could've been raped & everyone lost their fucking mind over it. I think how you view your experience depends on your mindset and the situation itself. Some people are tougher/weaker than others. I dealt with a lot of physical and sexual abuse when I was a kid, but I guess I was just immune to it by the time I realized how fucked up things were. But when I was abused by an ex it destroyed me. It's something that still effects me with anxiety problems and nightmares.

Actually, you're probably right tbh. Honestly, I spend like the majority of my time on the Internet and my two friends in the whole world do too, so maybe I have kind of a narrow view of what people actually talk about in the real world. All I know is that I see a lot of condescending, over-dramatic articles about victim shaming and what makes a good feminist pretty much every time I open my Facebook and it's getting really annoying. I think a lot of people are just preaching to the choir and trying to feel better about themselves as people for regurgitating these ideas that most people already know about, without even taking into account that the majority of people in low socio-economic areas aren't gonna be checking out Tumblr to access their ideologies. That's why I'm happy we're having this conversation here, because there's no pettiness and I feel like we're both listening to each others opinions.

But omg, I don't get that! Even when the new Tomb Raider game came out there was a scene that HINTED towards rape and Tumblr just went apeshit over it. Like, it's clearly a situation which happens to a lot of people in the world, so I don't get why representing it and giving them a character to identify with is seen as a bad thing. Would it be better if we just didn't speak about it at all? But yeah, I feel you on that. I still get really worried over physical abuse, just not sexual abuse which is weird. But I think that if society didn't have such a complex about women being "chaste" and "pure" and "virginal" then a lot of women wouldn't be so affected by it as well.

[sarz]

I agree that it is totally overblown. My first thought was when I watched it where was the harassment. If the girl had said fuck off they guy walking next to her probably would have. Also she was wearing jeans a top and a cardigan hardly a sultry outfit, I think she attracted attention because she was attractive I don't think the clothing had much to do with it at all. In the instance where she was wearing a hijab of course she got approached less. Most people know that most muslims, seek other muslims its part of their faith.  Muslims of faith don't drink or participate in sex before marriage. So why would they type of men that harass women in the street who probably want an easy lay seek out a woman in a hijab who is practically unobtainable. I can't see what the big deal is take the compliment feel good about and move on.

[Main Pop Girl]

I agree that it is totally overblown. My first thought was when I watched it where was the harassment. If the girl had said fuck off they guy walking next to her probably would have. Also she was wearing jeans a top and a cardigan hardly a sultry outfit, I think she attracted attention because she was attractive I don't think the clothing had much to do with it at all. In the instance where she was wearing a hijab of course she got approached less. Most people know that most muslims, seek other muslims its part of their faith.  Muslims of faith don't drink or participate in sex before marriage. So why would they type of men that harass women in the street who probably want an easy lay seek out a woman in a hijab who is practically unobtainable. I can't see what the big deal is take the compliment feel good about and move on.

She shouldn't have to tell him to fuck off to make him stop following her creepily for five minutes tho. He should have had the common courtesy to not act like a freak, and she should have had the confidence to tell him to back down after he'd done it for a little while. And don't you think that if she's attracting attention because she's attractive, and not because of the clothes she wears, that's even worse? It's one thing to think, hey, that person's wearing a white outfit so they must be a nurse, I should ask them for medical advice; but thinking, hey, that person looks like a nurse so I should ask them for medical advice is just stupid tbh.

[blondeboy]

209597d797cb9d264c86ea19e8af7694

[Carcunt]

Has anyone else seen the video where the guy walks around New York and gets cat calls by women? I hate this "men are pigs and all women are innocent and helpless" mindset that the original video implies. Here's the male version.

InUeOWlgebM

[Main Pop Girl]

209597d797cb9d264c86ea19e8af7694

    I CAN'T. Omfg, I wanna be best friends with this girl! I wish they'd chased after him for two blocks like he did her.

Has anyone else seen the video where the guy walks around New York and gets cat calls by women? I hate this "men are pigs and all women are innocent and helpless" mindset that the original video implies. Here's the male version.

InUeOWlgebM

I wish I was hot enough to be sexually harassed.