The Advice Thread

[trayertrash]

Dear Ashley,

I want to reinvent myself but do not know how to do so without my parents knowing I'm gay. I want to dye my hair either black or blond for my gaga concert and also want to start working out and wearing nicer clothes. My parents are homophobic so what shall I do? I don't understand why they haven't taken a hint when they have pictures of me when I was 3-6 making out with another boy while I was being babysat. What to do? I really want to come out but I know if I do my parents might kick me out. I also want a boyfriend or something because I'm lonely and not to many people like me or find me interesting. I mean I don't have anyone to talk to about having crushes on guys and etc

#hardouthereforagay

Thanks,

Nathan

Dear Nathan,

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your parents Maybe you can start out talking to your mom, tell her 'some guy' you go to school with came out & got kicked out & see how she reacts. If she supports the parents decision, I'd wait to come out, if she says something in disagreement towards it, maybe you can ask how she would feel if you (or a siblings if you have any) were gay & see how it goes from there. I've helped a few friends come out & 99% of the time the mother is the most accepting & understanding, even if they are homophobic. Are you over 18? I don't think it's legal to kick out a minor, but idk if you're American or not, so it could be different.

As for wanting a new look, tell your parents you want to start dressing nicer because you feel comfortable in those types of clothes. I don't think parents have problems with their kids wanting to look nice? Plus, you can always use the 'I want to look more professional for my future' excuse. With the hair dye, maybe you could use temporary hair dye for the concert, the one that washes out after a few days so it's not something your parents really freak out about, plus, if it ends up not looking right on you, you won't be stuck with it. If your parents like it & you like it, maybe dye it permanently.

I'd wait to try finding a boyfriend until you've talked to your parents because tbh, it always becomes an issue with one person in a relationship isn't out. Your bf could pressure you into coming out when you're not ready & it could end things quickly & messingly.